Funny Marathi Jokes

निदान आठवड्यासाठी तरी लक्षात टेवा
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फराळा ला घरच्यांन समोर तरी
"चकना" म्हणू नका...
😜😂😜😂😜😂😜
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लंडन की थंडी से गोठया मेरा अंग,
लंडन की थंडी से गोठया मेरा अंग,
CM PM को छोड के लोग मुझे देखने मे दंग,
मेरे आने से हुआ लंडन का वातावरण तंग !!
क्योंकी गुलाबी है मेरे टाय का रंग !!!!!!!!!
- कवी थेट लंडनहून 😝
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 😝आजचा भयंक  जो

बायको : तुम्ही खुप भोळे आहात हो. तुम्हाला कोणी पण सहज फसवू शकत....

नवरा : सुरुवात तुझ्या बापाने केली.....😂😂😂-
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What's App jokes for groups

आओ आज मैं
 
   आप लोगो को

  whats aap पर फिल्म
   दिखाता हूँ






















































































 





























































































































































































































































































































































ये थी। राजेश खन्ना की
 फिल्म  

           *कोरा कागज*  

 अब Thank you मत बोलना
    उस की कोई  
  जरूरत नहीं।

😂😂😃😃😃😜😝😝😛😛😛��🙄😛😛😛😛😛😛😋😋😋😋
       सब को दिखाओ
😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳

ग्रुप चाहे किसी का भी हो,
पर
धमाका हमारा ही होगा
😆😆😆😝😝😛😛😛😜😜😜

New whats app jokes-Hindi

Market may bilkul new hai


चुनाव का समय आ गया है ।



नेता जी
प्रचार करने निकल पडे

😜😜😜😜😜😜

नेता - हाँ । अब सही समय आ गया है ।


जनता - क्या आप देश को लूट खाओगे ?


नेता - बिल्कुल नही ।


जनता - हमारे लिए काम करोगे ?


नेता - हाँ । बहुत ।


जनता - महगांई बढ़ाओगे ?


नेता - इसके बारे में तो सोचो भी मत ।


जनता - आप हमे जॉब दिलाने में मदद करोगे ?


नेता - हाँ । बिल्कुल करेँगे ।


जनता - क्या आप देश मे घोटाला करोगे ?


नेता - पागल हो गए हो क्या बिलकुल नहीं ।


जनता - क्या हम आप पर भरोसा कर सकते हैं ?


नेता - हाँ


जनता - नेता जी ...


चुनाव जीतकर नेताजी वापस आये ।





अब आप ,
नीचे से ऊपर पढ़ो ।
😜😜😜😜😜

Jokes on actors- in marathi

बायको: मकरंदला, काय हो लाज नाही वाटत,
स्वत:चं लग्न झालंय तरी मुलींकडे पाहता?

मकरंद अनासपुरे😎: असं कुठं लिहील़य की ऊपवास असताना मेनू कार्ड पाहु नये 😆😆😆😆😆
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रजनीकांत- मक्या... सांग पाहू कंडक्टर आणि ड्रायवर मध्ये काय फरक आहे...?

मकरंद अनासपुरे - कंडक्टर झोपला तर कोणाचंच तिकीट नाही निघणार..
आणि ड्रायवर जर झोपला....
तर सर्वांचच तिकीट निघेल...
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एकदा रजनीकांत ज्वालामुखीवर
चहा बनवायला चढला ,
तिथे गेल्यावर तो बेशुद्ध पडला. का ????????
कारण तिथे अगोदरपासुनच मकरंद अनासपुरे पापड
भाजत होता…………
_________________
एकदा मकरंद अनासपुरे कुत्र्याचं शेपूट पाईप मध्ये
घालण्याचा प्रयत्न करत होता.
..
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रजनीकांत : आय्यो मक्कू... कुत्र्याचं शेपूट कधीच सरळ होत नसतं.
..
..
..
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मकरंद : गप रे रताळ्या.... मी पाईप
वाकवतोय..
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Funny what's app jokes


 RBI का नया आदेश
यदि आप बैंक के सामने से निकलेंगें और "आपका मुँह cctv में आ गया"...!
तो
आपके Account से ₹101, "मुँह दिखाई" के काट लिये जायेंगें...!!
😂 ;)
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 Class Me Madam Ne Kaha Sab Apne Apne "bf ya gf" Ke Naam Paper Par Likho..

2 Minute Baad Ladkiya Boli: Complete Miss!!

30 Minute Baad Ladke Bole:
Supliment Plz !!😝😝😂😂😂😝


. 、 '
                 ╰😂︿′.
              ︿).      
                  〈  
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                    
जी करता है.. तेरे पास आऊं....☺
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तेरे पास आके.. रुक जाऊं....😊
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ना बैठू..ना बोलूँ....😝
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बस तेरी इन प्यारी सी आँखों में....😍😍
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संतरे का छिल्का नीचोड़ के भाग जाऊं..😜😝😁😁😂😂

Top 10 Fastest Cars In The World

TOP 10 FASTEST CARS...........

1.KOENIGSEGG AGERA R – 273 MPH

Image result for 1.KOENIGSEGG AGERA R – 273 MPH
The car comes with a 5-Liter Turbocharged DO V8HC engine with a compression ratio of 9.0:1 and is capable of generating an impressive 1200 pound-feet of torque and horsepower of 1140, hence enabling the vehicle to zoom from halt to 60 mph within less than 2.5 seconds and reach speeds from 0 to 186 mph within 11.7 seconds (a world record).
Available for a price tag of £1.1million, the Agera R is also the first vehicle in the market to feature a dual-clutch transmission in only one-input-shaft. This results in the faster shift times and acceleration, hence making the Agera R one heck of a race car! New details about the 2014 model include carbon fiber wheels, wind-in-the-hair thrills, and targa-style roof panels for high speed.

2. HENNESSEY VENOM GT – 270 MP

Image result for 2. HENNESSEY VENOM GT – 270 MP

Coming second in the world’s fastest cars category is the Hennessey Venom GT, which is a relatively new name in the industry, but has generated quite a buzz in a short period of time. The car is based on a modified Lotus Exige and has a max speed of 270 mph (just 3 mph less than the Koenigsegg). As a result, the vehicle will terrify anyone upon first glance, as it is purely a beast.
Packed with a mighty 7.0 Liter Twin-Turbocharged V8 Engine, the Venom GT is capable of generating an outstanding and dazzling horsepower of 1,244 and torque of 1,155 pound-feet, hence enabling the car to fly from halt to 62 mph within 2.8 seconds only and accelerate from zero to 200 mph in 14.51 seconds (all thanks to the intercooler upgrades and single-clutch shift system to ensure faster shift times). All this power is packaged in an overwhelming and sexy interior and exterior design that can be yours for approximately US $1.2 million. Therefore, the vehicle is relatively cheaper than the Koenigsegg Agera R and delivers a similar performance, only 3 mph less! Which one is the better vehicle? Well, that we can only find out when the two cars RACE!
3. BUGATTI VEYRON SUPER SPORT – 268 MPH
Image result for 2. HENNESSEY VENOM GT – 270 MPThe Bugatti Veyron held the Guinness World Record for being the fastest supercar in the world for years and was the first ever production car to exceed the 250 mph mark. However, after facing a few technical difficulties, its title was taken over by the Koenigsegg. This is when Bugatti introduced its Super Sport model that has a max speed of 268 mph.

5 mph less than the Koenigsegg, the Bugatti Veyron Super Sport comes equipped with an 8-Liter Quad-Turbo W16 Engine that is capable of generating an impressive torque of 1,106 lb-ft and horsepower 1,200 HP, enabling the car to go from zero to 60 in 2.4 seconds. The best feature of the Super Sport is it makes reaching insane speeds seem effortless. As a result, the vehicle is a breeze to drive and also comfortable and luxurious to sit in, even though it is a supercar. And, this is one of the main reasons why that despite its €1.6 million price tag, the vehicle has been selling well and the demand is high.

4. 9FF GT9-R – 257 MPH

Image result for 9FF GT9-R – 257 MPH
Built by the German tuning company, 9ff, the GT9 is a supercar based on the historic Porsche 911. In fact, the looks and exterior styling of the car is also pretty similar to the 911, only with the interior of the car being stripped out for lightness and looks basic as compared to the Porsche. The car is faster than the original Bugatti Veyron, but slower than the SuperSport model.
Regardless, the GT9-R is purely a beast on the roads and comes equipped with a rather unique technology. It is fitted and modified with a 4.0-Liter Flat 6 Engine (six cylinders arranged horizontally in two banks of three cylinders) which enables the vehicle to produce an impressive horsepower of 1,120 and torque of 910 lb-ft.
This massive engine enables the vehicle to reach top speeds of 257 mph and also gives it the ability speed from zero to 60 mph in just 2.9 seconds, and accelerate from halt to 190 mph in under 16 seconds. The makers of the GT9-R have ensured no two vehicles manufactured are alike and offers potential owners with the option of customizing or personalizing their vehicles to their liking when it comes to design, color, and performance.

5.  SSC ULTIMATE AERO  – 256 MPH

Image result for SSC ULTIMATE AERO
Produced by SSC North America (formerly known as Shelby SuperCars), the SSC Ultimate Aero is a mid-engine sports car that held the title of the world’s fastest production car from Guinness World Records for 3 years (2007 to 2010), till Bugatti introduced the Veyron Super Sport. However, in 2013, the Guinness World Records disqualified the Bugatti Veyron’s record time due to some unknown reasons and reinstated the SSC Aero as the fastest production car ever.

However, this change too was reverted five days later. Regardless, for a rather new company in the market, SSC has generated a lot of attention with its Ultimate Aero car. The vehicle comes equipped with a 6.3-Liter Twin-Turbocharged V8 Engine that is capable of generating an impressive horsepower of 1,287 and torque of 1,112 lb-ft. It has a top speed of 256 mph, just 1 mph less than the GT9-R! Nevertheless, with its beast of an engine the vehicle can easily hit 200 mph in under 16 seconds, which is quite reasonable for a car that is available for only €550,000. The only drawback of the vehicle is it doesn’t feature any electronic driver aids to help control the power of the engine. The vehicle may gain both positive and negative reviews, as some would like a purer driving experience and others would bemoan the lack of top of the line safety features.

6. KOENIGSEGG CCR – 242 MPH

Image result for KOENIGSEGG CCR
Koenigsegg enters the top 10 list once again with its CCR model that is a mid-engine sports car that also briefly held the ‘world’s fastest’ title before being vanquished by the original Bugatti Veyron. The CCR model reached a top speed of 242 mph in 2005 at the Italy’s Nardo Ring and it was among the trendsetters for faster supercars, after McLaren and Ferrari of course.
The CCR is an earlier generation of Koenigsegg’s cars, but it still manages to be one of the fastest. Not to mention, the Koenigsegg was the first ever production vehicle to beat McLaren’s 8-year streak as the fastest production car on the market. The car comes equipped with a large and powerful 4.7-liter V8 Engine that is capable of generating 806 hp and 920 lb-ft torque. According to manufacturer estimates, the vehicle can zoom from 0 to 100 km/h (62 mph) in 3.7 seconds and can complete a standing quarter mile of 9.7 seconds at 146 mph.

7. MCLAREN F1 – 241 MPH

Image result for MCLAREN F1
Even after 23 years, the McLaren F1 still manages to make the fastest cars’ in the world list. The car has a unique interior design of being a three-seater with the driver’s seat at the center and two passenger seats on the sides. The vehicle is a former champion, but with its center driver’s seat, gold-line engage bay, and carbon-fiber body, it is also one of the coolest cars ever made.
Equipped with a 6.1-Liter BMW M V12 engine, the supercar produces 670 Horsepower and peak torque of 520 lb-ft, enabling the vehicle to accelerate from zero to 60 in just 3.2 seconds. The overall design of the vehicle is also impressive and has great aerodynamics to ensure maximum speed and performance. In a period of 6 years, a total of 106 McLaren F1 vehicles were produced. In 2013, chassis number 066 was sold for a record price of US $8.47 million.

8.ZENVO ST 1 – 233 MPH

Image result for ZENVO ST 1 –
Manufactured by the Danish company Zenvo, the ST 1 is a high-performance supercar hand-made by a small team of workers. It is the company’s first ever supercar model and was introduced back in 2009. The vehicle easily dishes out a max speed of 233 mph and has the ability to accelerate from zero to 60 mph in a mere 3 seconds.
It comes equipped with a 6.8-Liter V8 Engine and generates an impressive horsepower of 1,104 and torque of 1,050 lb-ft, enabling the vehicle to reach 0 to 200 mph in only 8.9 seconds. It also has great features, such as telescopic steering wheel adjustment and a keyless-entry system and is available for a price tag of €660,000.

9. PAGANI HUAYRA – 230 MPH

Image result for PAGANI HUAYRA
The Italian supercar manufacturer that has taken the supercar market by storm, Pagani, has developed quite a reputation in a short period of time. The company provides car enthusiasts and adrenaline junkies with top and high-quality cars which not only provide great speed, but also feature unique design cues, earning the title of hyper cars.
The Huayra model specifically is known for its amazing and outrageous performance that beats the best racing cars in the market. It isn’t exactly the fastest, but the acceleration is what surprises many car enthusiasts. It comes equipped with a large and power Twin-Turbo V12 6-Liter Engine that can easily produce a whopping 738 lb-ft of torque and 730 horsepower. You can buy it for €900,000 to €1,000,000.

10. ASTON MARTIN ONE-77 (220 MPH)

Image result for ASTON MARTIN ONE-77
Built by the British Manufacturer Aston Martin, the One-77 is the most extreme and fastest road-going Aston to ever be created. It shares a similar layout with regular Astons you see on the road, but the One-77 is a completely different beast which sports a 7.3-Liter V12 Engine producing 750 HP and 800 lb-ft torque. A total of 77 cars have been produced and apart from its performance, the vehicle is primarily known for its jaw-dropping good looks. The vehicle has a top speed of 220 mph and can easily accelerate from zero to 60 mph in 3.5 seconds.
So, now that you are familiar with the top 10 fastest cars in the world, choosing one which best suits your style and needs won’t be a problem.
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For More Stay Tuned...........